


In Dreams Only

by alchemicalTyphoon



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22324111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicalTyphoon/pseuds/alchemicalTyphoon
Summary: The memories were too much. To preserve his apprentice, Asra decides to keep them in a magical slumber, trying to repair what damage he could through their dreamscape. But dreams follow their own logic, and his presence is invasive...Inspired/prompted by a conversation with another fan.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana)
Kudos: 24





	1. Dreamscape: The rooftop - before sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> AHAHAHA... Have some angsty Asra bullshit again ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. This was inspired by [something kireinakittie said](https://vesuviasfastestcourier.tumblr.com/post/190351512877/in-dreams-only-chapter-1-alchemicaltyphoon) and well... This one's on her XD!

It seemed like it was always night here. They sat down, and dangled their legs off the ledge, staring into the horizon. The sun would be up at some point. Probably. 

They kicked their legs as they started to hum a song under their breath. Waiting. They weren't sure what exactly they were waiting for. Maybe they were waiting for the sun. That seemed logical enough. Why else would they be here otherwise?

The wind picked up, and they shivered, wishing they had a scarf or something to keep themself warm. They passed the time with humming a vaguely familiar song, getting up at some point and doing some handstands. They even attempted to walk on their hands, but they never managed more than a few paces before they lost balance and toppled over. Strangely enough, they never fell off the ledge. Not that they paid it much mind. They simply dusted themself off and tried again.

At some point, while they were sitting on the ledge again, they felt a presence, causing them to turn around.

"Oh! Hi!". They smiled and waved. The white-haired stranger was partially illuminated by the moonlight, casting gentle shadows on the roof. "You're the first person I've seen around here. Care to sit with me? I think I'm waiting for the sunrise. But I can't recall really", they offered by way of conversation. Without waiting for an answer, they turned back to the horizon, drawing their knees up. A breeze picked up, causing them to shiver. Something warm was draped on their shoulder, a red scarf, and when they looked up, startled, the stranger was standing next to them, a faint smile on their lips.

They felt a blush creep over their face. "Oh... ah! Thank you! But... Aren't you cold too?" He sat down next to them and they felt heat radiating off of him. Without thinking, they scooted closer to him, to his heat. His faint smile turned into a full smile as they eagerly pressed themself to his side. He wrapped them under his colourful coat, his arm draped loosely over their shoulder. It all felt so familiar. _He_ felt so familiar...

They shifted so they could look at him. He had the most beautiful eyes, purple, like the night sky just before dawn. Without thought, one of their hands went up to cup his cheek, and to their amazement, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against their palm. Both of them were shocked, but neither of them moved. They felt their blush deepen, much to the amusement of the stranger.

"Uhm... do I know you?...", they asked with some hesitation. "It's... I don't know why I'm here. Or how I even got here in the first place. Do you know how I can leave this place?" Their voice trembled. "Or do you maybe know who I am? Because I sure don't. And I feel like... If I only knew who I was, this would all make sense..."

They turned to face him fully, their other hand going up slowly to cup his other cheek as well. Again, he closed his eyes, and he pressed his lips against their palm. But this time, neither of them were surprised. Instead, they drew closer to him, breathing a bit harder than normal. He did the same thing, until they were a mere breath from one another.

"Can I...?", they wondered in a hush. He smiled and nodded imperceptibly. They bridged the distance, pressing their lips softly against his, feeling a little shy. The gesture felt so familiar, they tried it again, chasing the feeling. Their shyness slowly made way for a desperate need to know. To know why this felt the way it did.

Whilst they were out of breath once their lips left his, he looked completely unruffled. Their voice trembled when they spoke. "You _know_ who I am, right? And your name is on the tip of my tongue, but, I know _you_ , _right_?"

His answer was to draw them closer, pulling them to sit between his legs. It should have been alarming, but for some reason, it wasn't. It felt right. Like they'd done this countless times before. His arms around them, holding them firmly, felt right, like they belonged there, to protect them. They felt the soft brush of his lips against the nape of their neck, and that too felt right, like they'd always belonged there. He hugged them from behind, squeezing them gently. And then he spoke.

"I love you", he mumbled. "Please, wake up. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss the trouble you cause. I miss you. Wake up, sweetheart. Wake up. I'm waiting for you."

They turned around, tears in their eyes as his name, along with what he meant, hit them.

"ASRA!"

But he was gone.

There was only silence, and the sun rising behind them...

A moment passed. Despite the sun rising, the rays didn't feel as warm as... Hmm... As what?... They blinked and looked around as they got up. The roof was empty, save for themself. They dusted themself off, looking at the rising sun...

It seemed like it was always sunrise here. They sat down, and dangled their legs off the ledge, staring into the horizon. The sun would go down at some point. Probably.

They kicked their legs as they started to hum a song under their breath. Waiting. They weren't sure what exactly they were waiting for. Maybe they were waiting for the moon. That seemed logical enough. Why else would they be here otherwise?

The wind picked up, and they shivered, drawing the red, familiar smelling scarf around them to keep warm. They briefly wondered how it got there... but the stray thought fluttered away in the breeze... 


	2. Dreamscape: The rooftop - counting stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I'm now writing a multi-chapter thing? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

It seemed like it was always night here. They approached the ledge and looked down. The mists were too dense to see the ground even with the moon watching. They looked back up, at the horizon. The sun would be up at some point. Probably. 

They rocked back and forth from their heel to the ball of their feet, humming a song under their breath. Waiting. They weren't sure what exactly they were waiting for. Maybe they were waiting for the sun. That seemed logical enough. Why else would they be here otherwise? 

The wind picked up, and they shivered. They pulled the red scarf around them, huddling in its shelter. They passed the time watching the sky, counting, and losing count of the stars up above. Eventually, they gave up. The stars weren't cooperating tonight and they were sure there was one unaccounted for. Was it only this night that they weren't cooperating? Somehow, it felt like this might not have been the first time it happened, but they couldn't recall any other time than the here and now. A deep, sputtering sigh escaped their lips. 

Movement from their left caught their attention. "Oh! Hi!" They smiled, and waved once the white-haired stranger glanced their way. "You're the first person I've seen around here. Are you waiting for something too? I think I'm waiting for the sunrise. But I can't recall really..." 

Their smile faltered, turning into a frown as they looked away. "Why can't I remember..." They were brought out of their thoughts by a hand on theirs. The hand, darker than their own, was much warmer than anything they could remember feeling. They grasped his hand, leaching his heat. "You're so warm...", they marveled. He held up his other hand with his palm up, and without thinking, they put their other hand in his. When he closed his hand around theirs, they looked up at him, staring into the stranger's peculiar purple eyes. He smiled, and it caused laugh lines around his eyes. They felt oddly self conscious about the situation. Blushing and with a timid smile, they looked away. 

The two of them stood there in silence, motionless. It was broken when the stranger gently tugged at their hands, flashing a reassuring smile when they looked up. They bridged the gap, taking a step and a half, and were surprised when he embraced them. For a brief moment, they weren't sure what to do, frozen in the warmth he radiated. He too, briefly turned hesitant. They could see a flash of concern, of fear, in his expression... but it turned into relief when they cocked their head and send him a small smile, before burrowing themself in his chest with a content sigh. His tension melted away, and he properly pulled them into a hug. 

"This seems so familiar...", they mumbled into his chest. They closed their eyes, and felt the stranger's warm hand stroking their hair. It lulled them into a sense of peacefulness, but their thoughts kept nagging. Something about this was _so_ familiar, but they couldn't recall why. Quietly, they asked: "Who are you? I know you, don't I?" He paused, and coaxed them to face him. They turned shy, and only briefly looked him in his eyes, but they could still glimpse the soft smile in them. His index finger lightly traced their jaw, stopping under their chin to lift their face up. They couldn't help offering another small smile at him, causing his breath to hitch. He thumbed their lips, and leaned in slowly, giving them ample time to move away... which they didn't. 

His kiss was as soft as the smiles he'd been throwing their way, and it stirred memories that almost, but didn't quite break the surface of recall. It left them in a hazy fluster, wanting more, in contrast with the satisfied, lazy grin gracing the stranger's features. They lifted their hands to cup his face, and chewed their bottom lip before addressing him with stumbling words. "I think-... Maybe, uhm, we should...? There was-! I think-! I almost... Do you want to-?" His eyebrows rose up further with each word, disappearing under his bangs. "Uhm... Would you like to kiss me again?", they whispered. 

Before they could react, his lips were already latched onto theirs. A startled note escaped their throat, swallowed up in the fever of his passionate kiss. They were swept away by it, and gave themself completely to him. There was a sense of desperation this time, as if he was afraid for this moment to end. His hold on them tightened, and their arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer... 

They caught a glimpse of something, a _memory_ , in their mind...

They were both breathing hard when their lips parted. Purple eyes searched theirs, hopeful for something. When they spoke, it was in an astonished hush. " _You_ _love_ _me_...?" His mouth opened and closed, but he said nothing. Instead, he nodded vigorously, pulling them closer once again and pressed his lips against their cheeks, before burying his face in the crook of their neck. Like in the memory, one their hands moved of their own accord, stroking and patting his hair. It was as wonderfully soft as it looked. He pressed his lips against their skin and sighed, his exhale warming them and the scarf they were wearing. 

They were hesitant to break the moment, but they needed to know. "Did I love you just as much back?", they asked quietly. His reluctance to break from them was obvious in how long it took for him to finally do so. Again, his mouth opened and closed with no sound coming from him, leaving him to frown in mild frustration. He slowly raised one hand and hovered it near their face as if he intended to close their eyes. His smile was reassuring but hesitant, asking for their permission. 

It should have alarmed them. Everything about this situation should have alarmed them, but out of everything in this endless, amorphous place, this odd, kind stranger seemed like a finite, solid point. "I trust you", they smiled. Their statement was met with a smile to match theirs. He moved his hand out of the way and pressed his brow against theirs, the act holding an intimacy that couldn't be compared to his previous kisses. 

They already missed it when he backed off and gently closed their eyes. 

When he spoke, even his voice had a weight to them that they hadn't encountered before here. "What did you see, sweetheart?" 

_The icy rain poured down from the skies, leaving the roofs slippery and hard to navigate. But they were almost back, almost home. They tapped on the window, and a white-haired man with purple eyes and brown skin let them in. He wrapped them up in a warm towel_ _and shooed them into a waiting bath. The heat was welcome, and it made them feel drowsy._

_A pair of arms wrapped around them from behind, keeping them from sliding under the water surface. Their hands found purchase on his of their own accord, and the small space echoed his quiet amusement. They felt lips on their shoulder, and heard him softly say: "I love you, you know."_

He was quiet for several moments, and they could hear him swallowing before he reacted. "Hold onto that memory. Don't let it go. It's important. Every little bit you remember, hold onto them." He shifted his stance, pressing his brow against theirs against. "When you open your eyes again, I will likely be gone. That doesn't mean I've abandoned you. I hope that stays with you this time." 

He'd be _gone_?! "I can just keep my eyes closed then!", they exclaimed in alarm. The prospect of this man, who loved them for reasons they didn't know, just being gone wasn't one they relished. He shook a little, his laughter infecting them despite the distress they felt. "Aaah... I'm afraid your curiosity won't let you. Soon enough, you'll open them. But it's okay. You need to see where you're going if you want to move forward." 

He shifted his stance, and they felt his lips on their forehead, before he placed his forehead back against theirs. "We'll meet again. I promise." There was a brief pause, and they could sense him choose his next words, uttered quietly with measured care. "... As for whether you loved me back... I'd like to think you do, but ultimately, that's for you to decide." 

A drop of warm water hit their eye, and they blinked. They felt the lingering sensation of something brush against their lips, as they stared at the glittering points of light before them being swept upwards by a strong breeze, into the dawning sky. 

The first rays of the sun washed the rooftop with light. They were alone, once again. 

... 

_Once again_? A confused frown formed on their face, and they reached up, one hand to their forehead and eye, the other resting over their heart. Both places felt warmer than they remembered. With time, their hands came down again, and they angled their gaze up towards the sky. 

It seemed like it was always sunrise here. They approached the ledge and looked down. The mists were too dense to see the ground even with the sun dissipating the top. They looked back up, at the horizon. The moon would be up at some point. Probably. 

They spotted a peculiar star blinking in the sky. It hung next to the sun, colouring the surrounding area purple, refusing to be shown up by the sun's bright white light. With each blink as it struggled against the sun, it tugged at their heart. Their hands went up, resting on top of their heart. They walked backwards, counting their steps, until they hit the opposite ledge. Memories of motion stirred their muscles as they loosened them, a determination building up inside them. They took a few deep, calming breaths, and putting their faith in the purple star to guide them, ran full tilt ahead, leaping off this roof's ledge.

Moving forwards. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as usual, I'm totally fine with any yelling at/with me! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**Author's Note:**

> And as always, feel free to yell at/with me about this ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ! I admit I'm starved for feedback ^^;!


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